sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
