This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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