Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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