well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
