it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
