Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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