You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
