Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
