The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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