Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
That's how pantless uber rides happen
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
