PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
