i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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