Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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