Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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