I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
