we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
