It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
