i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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