so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize