Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
