1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
