i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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