we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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