Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
