Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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