im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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