opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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