I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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