Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
