It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
