my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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