you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I think I just sharted jello shots
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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