soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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