So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
