I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
