The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
