I got chris browned last night
hell yes lets make some ravioli
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
