Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
