2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Randomize
