everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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