he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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