Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
