fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
