Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
