Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think people are normalizing furries
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
