what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
