i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
