capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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