It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
