what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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