Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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